Top 10 Hilarious Excuses Pakistani Employees Make
24/May Top 10 Hilarious Excuses Pakistani Employees Make

Whether you are running a business or working at an office, you will always find these people around you making silly excuses of these top 10 and actually being able to pull it off. Or better yet, you might be actually one of them. The thing occurred to me ever since I have started running a web design agency in Pakistan and my employees continue to surprise me with their ever silly and lame excuses. As an employer, you will always be pissed off at Mondays because “saari roohain is jahan-e-fani ma Monday ko tashreef lati ya kooch farmati hain” (Everyone either dies or gets born on Mondays- to ensure a long weekend). The other special day of the week is Friday where everyone tends to get sick or have an emergency to make sure they don’t miss the outstation trip on the weekend.

I have compiled a list of most funny and weird excuses after being in business for past of couple of years. Hope you enjoy and relate to them-in a good way of course;)

1. Sada bahar bimar (A person who is always sick)
sick employees photo

Let me tell you a feverish story that happened a while ago at my office. One of employees, lets call him A, does not show up at the office one day. A texts via cellphone to inform he cannot make it to the office. (What a professional way to inform your boss of your absence). The text goes like
“Ma aj office nahi aa skta, mujhy nazla, zukam, bukhar, sar ma dard or khansi b hay”
For those, who do not understand roman, the translated version is:
“I cannot make it to the office today because I have a runny nose, flu, fever, headache and coughing too”
What a medical emergency this person would actually be. This is why we call them the Sada Bahar Bimar kind.

2. Maray howe ko marna (Killing the dead)
Killing the dead photo

Though morally wrong to the highest degree, but I have always found people murdering their dead family members over and over. David Wear, a PR executive at Virginia relates well with the situation and says” “I had an employee whose mother died – twice”. “He also had the misfortune of losing all his grandparents – 12 of them – during a two-year period.” Source: http://allhealthcare.monster.com/

3. Nonexistent family members

Nonexistent family members

I used to do this as a school goer. My Taya never got married so I found a good chance to victimize his nonexistent wife and kids. Employees often do that. People with no siblings would be attending their imaginary brother’s wedding, taking his kids to school and helping him with all sorts of emergencies.

4. Musibat zada rishtedar (A suffering relative)

suffering relative

This is the top one, your employees or colleagues will always have a relative who is always in trouble. For instance, someone’s mother would always need to go to hospital. Someone’s kids keep breaking their body parts all the time. Some of them excuse for their spouse sickness while some may want to bring their distant relatives who have no one to look after them. This happens every once in a week that some phuphoo, chachi, maami, khaloo will be admitted in hospital or so.

5. Petty Lies

Petty Lies

This happened like a week back, when one of my programmers came and told me that his coworker had an accident. I shot up and reached the phone because I actually thought he is a careless little fellow and he may be in trouble. Ring.. Ring….
I say: Hello, how are you
He goes like: Sir, tabyat nahi theek….
I am like: ULLU K PATHAY…. First decide whether you are not feeling well or you had an accident. Make up your mind before you start telling petty lies.

Nierenberg had a great opinion on this, he said that never lie to your boss or your clients. You will definitely run into them while you are walking down the street enjoying your absenteeism.

6. Weather Blamers

Weather Blamers

You would always come across the ones who would skip a working day saying weather was too poor. For heaven’s sake, you did not come across a tsunami while crossing the street, or is there a terrific tornado two blocks down the office that I am not aware of. They be like,
Sir, bahir baarish ho rahi hy
Wait what? Are the rest of your colleagues water proof? Or did you just happen to be made of salt “JO BAARISH MA GHUL JAOGY?”

7. Can’t get the car out of the garage

 

This one is for real. Believe it or not but an employee once called into the office saying he was unable to take the car out of the garage because of load shedding. I had to remind him that there is a reason they have pull chains. Or maybe Metro…

8. Exams of some sort

Exams of some sort

If an employee tells you that he is going to take and exam and needs to prepare for it, get alarmed. This is most of the times your red alert for finding a replacement because he is not preparing for an exam but an interview for another job. 9 out of ten times would be the same case.

9. Hangover

Hangover

This by far is the most honest confession if they make. It is funny the way the call up all boozy and tired but at least they are not lying. Hangovers can be drastic and you don’t want someone coming into the workplace like a drunktard and messing up all the work. It is better that you allow them to stay home in such a case.
10. My Dog is missing

Dog is missing

I actually felt for this young fellow when he called in and said he could not find his dog and would be on the hunt the rest of the day. But, then I thought how does he know he would not be able to locate it the entire day? So yes, there would be people saying their fish is sick, or their cat is not feeling okay. You gotta be careful when you hear these

The post was based on my personal experiences with people at work and I would still call them funny. However, if you have to miss work or be absent, you better justify it with your efforts. Some cases are inevitable but if you are plans for the weekend or take some time off, you should complete the tasks assigned to you, be super productive the rest of the days so that you can call in for a leave with confidence

Got EVEN FUNNIER excuses or stories to share with us? Go ahead and comment below of a funny absent story you have made or heard

Dania Khan
Running a household with 2 kids and an office with 20 more ;) Avid reader, passionate writer, traveler, parent and not a very good friend.

4 thoughts on “Top 10 Hilarious Excuses Pakistani Employees Make”

  1. i really enjoy to read this bog because this is true and i think It is better that you allow them to stay home in such cases.

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